


summertime

by kaleidoscope_kat



Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BokuAka Week 2020, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Popsicles, Summer, a tiny bit of angst <3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25792777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidoscope_kat/pseuds/kaleidoscope_kat
Summary: Licking the popsicle slowly despite the summer heat, as Keiji tries his best to look anywhere but at Bokuto. The sunlight does wonders to him, Keiji thinks. The summer in general, actually. It highlights his skin in such ways, making the shadows and the highlights slightly more apparent. Bokuto’s eyes seem to glow brighter in the sun as well, and within a few minutes of staying out in the summer heat, beads of sweat appear. They glisten down his skin, tracing a path. It seems to glow more, in the sunlight, accentuating his beauty once more.BokuAka Week 2020 | Day Four - Friends to Lovers
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860544
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34
Collections: Bokuaka Week 2020





	summertime

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies about not updating much these days. I was,, occupied with some personal things, and well. My mental health isn't anything to be proud of so :P
> 
> If I do procrastinate on this again... then updates will most certainly be slower, as school is actually starting Very Soon for me.

Licking the popsicle slowly despite the summer heat, as Keiji tries his best to look anywhere but at Bokuto. The sunlight does wonders to him, Keiji thinks. The summer in general, actually. It highlights his skin in such ways, making the shadows and the highlights slightly more apparent. Bokuto’s eyes seem to glow brighter in the sun as well, and within a few minutes of staying out in the summer heat, beads of sweat appear. They glisten down his skin, tracing a path. It seems to glow more, in the sunlight, accentuating his beauty once more.

And it does not help that he is mere millimeters apart from Keiji himself. If he moved a bit closer, they would be touching, shoulder to shoulder. Keiji doesn’t dare do that, he is afraid of combusting, of making a fool of himself. He blames the rose pink on his cheeks on the burning heat of the summer sun.

Bokuto doesn’t know, Keiji thinks. Keiji hopes. He knows nothing of the thoughts racing through Keiji’s head, thinking twice or perhaps thrice before every action, every word. He knows nothing of the way Keiji stares at him for a couple moments too long, too long to be normal. He knows nothing of the way Keiji’s heart goes a million miles per hour, at a single touch.

And the touches happen frequently, Keiji thinks. A small movement, and their elbows are bumping, or their shoulders. He feels a wave of heat every time such things happen, but Keiji does not say anything. He dares not break the moments, silent yet comfortable.

Bokuto easily fills the silence with endless talk and chatter, animated motions here and there. It is frustrating, impossible not to smile slightly. Like always, Keiji hides his smile with his hand, and like always, Bokuto notices it. Today seems to be different than the rest however, a wave of pink spreading across his cheeks. “Agaaashe!!” Bokuto says, hands on Keiji’s wrist, as if trying to pull it down. Keiji morphs his face back to a neutral expression, letting his hands fall.

“C’mon!! Don’t hide it, your smile’s really cute, you know??” Keiji feels his cheeks heating up once more, his heartbeat going quickly, too quickly even. His grip on his popsicle stick seems to loosen, and he tightens it just in time before the frozen dessert falls onto the ground.

“Please don’t say such things out of the blue, Bokuto-san,” Keiji replies quickly, noticing a small pout in Bokuto’s lips moments after. He shoots him a small smile, almost unnoticeable. “Thank you though.” Self-consciously perhaps, Keiji finds himself tucking a piece of hair behind his ear.

What he really wants to say however, is the fact that it is unfair. For Bokuto to say such things out of the blue, unaware of the fact that Keiji’s heart is beating rapidly, that his thoughts are all over the place. Oblivious to the fact that Bokuto lives in Keiji’s mind, constantly, rent-free. Oblivious to the fact that 99% of his thoughts are composed of Bokuto-san this, Bokuto-san that. (Some small part of him wishes that he could call him Koutarou).

What he really wants to say is  _ Bokuto-san it’s unfair of you to state such when your smiles are brighter than the sun, brighter than the stars in the night sky. It’s unfair of you to say such when you’re the epitome of cute, of pretty, of beautiful. Of handsome. Of what I fell for. It’s unfair of you to state such, knowing that you don’t reciprocate such feelings. _

He doesn’t however. Saying such would be unprofessional, would be a violation to whatever relationship they currently had. Romantic feelings shouldn’t be involved anyways. They are merely friends, best friends perhaps (although Keiji’s always felt slightly inferior to Kuroo. Kuroo could make Bokuto beam easily, causing laughter whereas Keiji could only elicit laughs and smiles).

He never meant to fall for his best friend. That was nothing Keiji had ever prepared for, in his entire life. And like always, he chooses the path that makes the most sense, has the most logic. He ignores his feelings, he ignores the part of him that screams, that yearns for Bokuto-san’s warmth. He shuts out the part that says  _ please hold me longer, I like your hugs,  _ and replaces it with  _ Bokuto-san please mind my personal space. _

Another lick of his popsicle as the flavours burst through his mouth once more, eyes turning quickly towards Bokuto, rapidly at the words that leave his mouth.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto states, his face rather calm for whatever’s coming next. Slightly serious for once. It’s like the time when they lost a match, it’s like the time when everyone's proven that despite Bokuto’s childish antics, he was made captain for a reason. That he can be serious (sometimes), and that he is perfectly responsible.

“Yes…?” Keiji asks. The thin silence is broken quickly, the environment turning into something far more serious than just two teenage boys, licking their popsicles underneath the summer sky.

“Do you like anyone?? Romantically?” Bokuto asks, causing Keiji to lose his hold on the popsicle once more. This time, it splatters on the ground, forgotten.

Keiji refuses to look at Bokuto then. Lying came easy to him, although it was always impossible with Bokuto’s sincere actions. It would be impossible, he thinks, to lie to Bokuto about this. He dares not to, however. Yet… Saying such seemed to be risking so much. They were teenagers after all, they were supposed to fall in love with girls. Dream about the future with The One, and do whatever dumb things teenagers did.

Keiji finds himself playing with the edge of his shirt, the fraying threads. “Yes.” He simply answers, closing his eyes for a moment. He knows what’s coming next, he knows why Bokuto has brought this up. Bokuto probably likes someone. No, Bokuto does have a crush on someone, perhaps someone close. Could it be Kuroo? Unlikely. Bokuto’s probably straight. Could it be the girl in his class that he worked on the last class project with? Or maybe Bokuto’s math tutor?

Keiji can remember Bokuto constantly talking about her, for such a long time. The fact of how she somehow keeps Bokuto engaged in everything, being that one person that would always be there for Bokuto. Even if it was just something simple like maths. He can remember feeling jealous of such, helping Bokuto prepare for some tests (including maths) while studying in Bokuto’s room.

“What’s she like?” Bokuto asks. Keiji notices how his gaze seems to travel upwards, as if he’s staring at something but not really. Casually observing everything but not intently.

“It’s not a she,” Keiji finds himself saying, shutting his mouth right after. What would Bokuto do now, that he knew? That Keiji wasn’t normal, that he wasn’t like the rest. That he didn’t necessarily prefer girls, that he was leaning more towards the opposite side of the spectrum?

“It isn’t??” Bokuto asks. Slightly looking closer, leaning in to observe Bokuto’s face as Keiji exhales a sigh when he realizes it doesn’t seem that Bokuto finds it odd that he’s not like most people. Bokuto’s golden eyes seem to shine a bit brighter, some sort of emotion behind it. Hope perhaps? Keiji isn’t sure. He dismisses the thought moments later, such a thing happening isn’t likely.

(He notices a stray eyelash on Bokuto’s cheek. Keiji has never wanted to brush away the eyelash so much, tentatively and sweetly.)

“I’m gay,” Keiji confirms, closing his eyes once more for a brief moment. His gaze travels towards Bokuto’s once more, looking for any sign of disgust. There seems to be none, which Keiji feels happy about. “You’re… Not disgusted?” He asks, just in case.

“Of course not!” Bokuto replies, with some vigor. Keiji can detect a tiny bit of hurt in his voice. “You’re still Akaashi Keiji, aren’t you? It’s not as if you said you’ve… Murdered someone and you’re an escaped convict or something!”

“And if I did state such?” Keiji teases, raising an eyebrow as he watches Bokuto take another bite of his popsicle.

“Then that’d be cool, honestly! Being best friends with an escaped convict- Just don’t kill me please!!” Bokuto takes a breath, another blinding smile shot at his way, “Honestly Akaashi, we’re best friends aren’t we? Meant to be together no matter whatever happens!”

“Thank you,” Keiji replies, a satisfied smile on his lips. He leans back slightly, eyes glancing up on the sky before wincing slightly. The sun was surely bright, yet Bokuto’s presence made him feel infinitely warmer and happier inside.

“So… What’s he like?” Bokuto asks, hands now on Keiji’s shoulder as he watches Bokuto toss the popsicle stick into a nearby trash can.

“Blindingly bright, like the stars in the sky,” Keiji answers. He feels as though it’s something safe to say, and it’s the truth. “Brighter than the city lights when it’s dark outside. Brighter than the sun even, and millions of times more hot and attractive. His smiles make me feel as though I’m soaring through the skies, a different world altogether.”

A couple more moments of silence, Keiji closing his eyes. He can feel the sensation of Bokuto’s hand, leaving his shoulder. Although the sun’s rays hit that specific place, Keiji feels slightly colder than before.

“He sounds amazing,” Bokuto comments. Keiji feels as though he can detect a faint note of sorrow, of giving up on something perhaps. Of letting go. He does not dare ask why though, he dares not question.

“He is,” Keiji answers. “He really is, even if he sometimes thinks he isn’t...When he’s faking a grin, when he’s trying to compose himself. It’s… Slightly surprising how people don’t realize half the time he’s faking the smile and he’s not  _ dumb _ like he and everyone else sometimes think he is.”

Words that Keiji can’t exactly say to Bokuto without being slightly vague. Without pretending as if Keiji’s not talking about the man in front of him, who does glow brighter than the sun and any other star in the sky or galaxy or the universe. Words he can’t say to the man who seems to beam even if he’s internally having his emo mode. Words he can’t say to the person who always brings a smile onto everyone else’s face, with just three words, with a simple “hey hey hey!” and a fist bumped into the air.

“What about you?” Keiji finds himself asking. Interested, but also waiting for the heartbeat. Waiting for the affirmation that whoever Bokuto liked was someone who was as much as a star as he was (although definitely a bit dimmer, a lot dimmer) someone who had aspirations that they worked for, dreams that they could make true.

Bokuto only laughs at that, a sad chuckle. Something pitiful, before glancing right at Keiji. Keiji feels as though he can count the number of lashes, wishes he can wipe the one lash brushing and staying on Bokuto’s cheek. “Someone who’s way out of my league,” he replies. Uncharacteristically quiet, a sad smile on his face, partially broken.

Keiji only wishes he can kiss him on the lips, wipe away the sadness and the sorrow. He wishes he could hold whoever Bokuto likes on the collar and tell her that she’s lucky to have someone like Bokuto. That she would be beyond stupid to even  _ think _ of rejecting a star like Bokuto-san.

“Anyone would be beyond fortunate to have you as a boyfriend,” Keiji says, letting the words slip out of his mouth. He feels a finger on his lips that are not his own, shushing him immediately as Keiji feels another wave of pink. “Bokuto-san.” He states, words firm. “What the heck?”

“Sorry!! I don’t know what came over me, honestly, but please don’t say such things!!” Bokuto seems to splutter, his hands pulling away almost immediately. Keiji notices how he puts distance between them, pink dusting both their cheeks. “Your lips are really soft though!!”

“Don’t say that,” Keiji says. “Don’t flirt with someone who you don’t like.” He states, more firmly now.

He catches Bokuto slightly scratching the back of his neck, a sheepish smile on his face. “And if I do like you?”

Keiji closes his eyes, calming his breathing for a while. He lets himself stay in this moment, for a while longer. Until the dream shatters and reality comes creeping in once more. “You don’t like me, Bokuto-san. Not like that.”

“It’s not fair for you to tell me how I feel,” Bokuto states. It’s a serious tone this time, his gaze is piercing. Harsh. He catches Bokuto sighing, shaking his head slightly. “Just… Akaashi, just… Forget about it, alright? We can… Still be friends or whatever, nothing has to change. I’ll… I don’t know but…”

A forlorn look, Bokuto standing up. Keiji can’t do anything but watch, his mind screaming from within.  _ Don’t go don’t go please don’t go _ , his mind hollers, but Keiji’s body is still.

A couple minutes, he is left alone, with a forgotten popsicle stick on the ground. He picks it up, a sad smile on his face.  _ I think you should have a better fate than lost in the trash can _ , he thinks, before holding it.

A month passes between the two of them. Chatter isn’t common anymore, and Keiji often feels cold, despite sweat dripping off his chin during volleyball practice. They rarely talk, and when they do, it’s sickenly formal. They never go together anymore, those months, those days on the roof, sharing the most random things as well as lunch, staring at the sky while talking about everything and nothing… Disappearing, into the wind.

These days, Keiji sits alone on the roof. He can spot Bokuto sitting with others from his year, and sometimes Konoha-san and Komi-san along with them. He does not dare approach them however.

Thoughts occupy his mind all day. Was he truly that blind to such things? He should have done something. That, Keiji knows.

It is winter when he finally bundles up enough courage to send Bokuto a simple text message. 

**To: bokuto-san**

**From: owlkaashi**

**_We should talk_ ** **.**

There is no response, until days later. Keiji finds a small smile on his lips when such things happen. It feels like the first time he is able to talk to Bokuto, normally-- After he screwed up.

**To: owlkaashi**

**From: bokuto-san**

**_I’ll come to the roof where we used to… Y’know._ **

**To: bokuto-san**

**From: owlkaashi**

**_Okay._ **

The moments are silent. Usually, Bokuto’s the one who strikes up some conversation. Usually they’re closer, almost touching. Right now, they’re millions of miles away from each other. Not two best friends, not two teenagers sitting together. They’re merely acquaintances at this point, perhaps something even less.

Keiji finds himself taking a breath. Or perhaps it’s a couple of breaths. Small ones, almost unnoticeable. “I… should have pulled you back that day. Made you stay for a moment longer,” he starts.

“You’re… Blindingly bright. Like the stars in the sky. The first time I saw you, I think the first thought that passed through my mind was that you were like a star, shining brighter than the rest… You became my star. My sun… The only light in my life,” Keiji continues, “I dared not say anything… Bokuto-san. If anything, you deserve someone who shines as brightly as you. Perhaps another sky in the night sky.”

Another sigh, another breath as Keiji closes his eyes once more. “I guess… I’m trying to say that I like you.”

“Akaashi. Don’t just fucking say that cuz you feel pity for me or whatever. It’s alright, okay? You’re out of my league anyways.”

This time, it’s Keiji who places a finger on Bokuto’s lips. This time, it’s Keiji who shushes him, who thinks for a moment that Bokuto’s the one with the soft lips, unlike his own chapped lips.

“I’m serious, Bokuto-san,” Keiji states, “I’ve… Liked you for a while now. Always afraid though, to chase after the star.... To admit it. You deserve… So much better.”

At the corner of his eye, Keiji seems Bokuto moving slightly closer to him, a tentative hand placed on his shoulder. “Go ahead,” Keiji mutters, leaning slightly closer.

He finds a hand playing with his hair slightly, a small sigh coming from the man beside him. “Don’t put yourself down, Akaashi honestly,” Bokuto says, “It’s… I don’t know, I’m not the most ideal person, or anyone close to ideal at all. Dunno… Like, I might be your star or something, but you’re like. My world and everything, you know? You keep me stable and you’re the one who’s always there when I’m in my emo modes and you’re the one who’s always there when I need help or if I’m sad or if anything bad happens. You’re just a call away, if I need anything. And then, sometimes even if I call you in the middle of the night when you’re probably sleeping, you still wake up and you send me a text, you wonder if I’m okay and everything and… Gosh Akaashi, don’t put yourself down… I don’t really know what I’ m saying but. Just, don’t act as though you’re not perfect. Because you are.”

Keiji finds himself slightly leaning closer as well, another glance at Bokuto’s lips before settling for some sort of hug, holding him close for a couple of moments.

“What I guess I’m saying is.. I’m not sure actually but, Akaashi? Do you like.. Wanna, go out with me or something?”

“Of course Bokuto-san, of course.”

\---☆---

Licking the popsicle once more, Keiji finds himself glancing at Koutarou once more, a peaceful smile on both their lips. His gaze softens slightly, noticing an eyelash on Koutarou’s cheek, as well as the residue of some popsicle on the corner of Koutarou’s lips.

“You’re beautiful,” Keiji mutters, quietly brushing a stray eyelash on Koutarou’s cheek, kissing him smoothly on the corner of his lips, before licking his own. “Blue raspberry,” Keiji says, another small smile on his lips. He doesn’t cover it with his hand this time.

“You got a watermelon one,” Koutarou returns, “Sweet. Like you.”

“Shush,” Keiji mutters, another wave of pink on his cheeks. He keeps those popsicle sticks as well, residing as markers stuck in the dirt of flower pots full of red roses.

**Author's Note:**

> Like always, um-- thanks for reading <33  
> kudos to brie for like, playlists!!
> 
> and well, i think the only reason this work exists rn is because of encouragement from discord friends + the spotify songs that i now kinda listen to so, thanks for that-- especially if i know you from discord <33
> 
> and tbh, i was-- really surprised to reach the number of kudos + reads on my other works (yes, i'm aware that it's not necessarily a lot compared to other works by other authors, but still. kudos + views, it's so-- damn. shocking actually, to know the people read this)


End file.
